Lanesboro Massachusetts 1968
Glory to God for Advent and for Christmas when we celebrate the incarnation of God the Son in Jesus of Nazareth! Advent preparation and Christmas joy.
Keep that in mind when I say that for our family December is a difficult month. I know there are many who will feel acutely and painfully the absence of loved ones on Christmas.
Between my wife and me three out of our four parents died – all of them very unexpectedly – within a week of Christmas.
December 26 before we ever met. She drives back to seminary – only to hear the news about her dad and must turn around and drive back for the funeral.
December 22 2000. Finishing up dinner when my mom calls. Something about having some sad news she found someone on the floor of the house. Could not quite catch who she was talking about so I asked her to repeat. She found my dad on the floor and he had obviously been dead for some time. I had not seen him in a year and a half – Virginia too far from Minnesota and now Louisiana too far from New York.
December 18 2006. Three years ago today. Getting ready to drive to Florida later that week to spend Christmas with my mother-in-law and her husband. We had not seen them in three and a half years – long way to Tennessee for some reason we had not been in a while. And my sister was flying from Minnesota to join us there. Church staff Christmas party. Step outside to answer a call from my wife. Her mother had a heart attack and had died.
So the fun trip to Florida and family and Disneyworld turned into a very rushed trip to the mountains of northeast Tennessee.
I am a dreadful poet – but this is what I wrote a few weeks later:
Buck Mountain
The wind is cold because it blows across the snow
That rests upon the frozen earth
In which our ancestors sleep.They sleep these names that once
Are fathers husbands brothers
Wives and sisters mothers
Even children.With slow and quiet smiles
They let me walk among them
And share with me
Their watch from high above the valley.The wind is cold because it blows across the snow
As I return upon the melting path
That leads me back
To the valley of those
They loved and birthed.
What am I trying to say? Not sure entirely. Only to share that there is something about December that to us is dreadful and threatening. Dates on the calendar that are monsters of darkness and grief with gaping maws lined with teeth past which – through which? – we journey on our way to the new year.
We are not alone. We know others have lost loved ones. And each experience of grief is different. We do not “know just what you are going through”. Although we might understand a little bit.
There was a pastor who so many years ago – before my wife and I met – who in his morning prayer one Sunday said “and we know there are some for whom the Christmas season is difficult”. Just one brief sentence during a gathering of joy and celebration. But with that one sentence that young seminary student felt included. And was able to worship.
Ba`ereb yali(y)n bki(y) wlabboqer rinna(h)
In the evening spends-the-night weeping. But in the morning rejoicing. (Psalm 30:6)
